I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
