am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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