U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
