I don't usually arrange sex via text message
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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