You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
