I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You are the jesus of drinking
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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