Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
