It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
