There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
