i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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