Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize