Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
this boner is exhausting
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
