take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
