everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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