I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
