you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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