Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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