you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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