I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
