I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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