As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
