Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Im part way to drunk.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
