i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
