in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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