when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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