Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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