Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
