i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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