Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We left the knife in your bed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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