My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
