you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
