if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
