Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
