I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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