Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize