Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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