I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
