This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
