She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
