i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
