If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
