So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize