i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
