It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
