ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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