Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
