i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
