my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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