ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
