tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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