Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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