there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
