So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
