she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize